"What if? What if? VH1 dares to ask what if. What would have happened if PATTIE BOYD and HEATHER MILLS shared an apartment in downtown London? Think of what kind of fun, mischevious situations those silly girls would get into next! Because VH1 does not have legal copyrights to reproduce or play ANY Beatle songs, we've made a movie...yes, ANOTHER one. Its an imaginary reunion...of two girls who have never met. Pattie Boyd...Heather Mills...in...THE ODD COUPLE."
Pattie: <walks into apartment> I'm hooooome! Heather: Like, shut up! "Jeopardy" is on. Oh, I know this one! Who is...Mick Jagger! Alex Trebeck on TV: No, I'm sorry, Susan. The correct answer is George Harrison. He wrote the song "Something", recorded in 1969 on the Beatles album, Abbey Road. Heather: Grr, that Alex Trebeck thinks he's so smart! Whose ever heard of GeOrGe HaRriSon anyways?! Pattie: Um Peg...that's my husband. Heather: Oh yeah! Tee hee. I knew that. Pattie: So aren't you going to ask me how the modelling assignment went? Heather: No. Pattie: What? Heather: I mean, sure! Like, how did it go? Pattie: Just horrible. That jerk-photographer wanted me to take off my shirt! Heather: So? Pattie: SO?! Heather: Yeah, theres nothing wrong with taking off you shirt. I heard, its all artistic and junk when your boobies show. That what Paul says when we play "photographers and models". Pattie: Paul said that? Heather: Yup! He's so intellectual-like. And artistic-ey. Pattie: Right. Heather: He is! He's more intellectual than GEORGE. Pattie: At least GEORGE can maintane his weight! Heather: Oh yeah?! Well at least PAUL can...eat faster than George ever could! Pattie: At least GEORGE never took a piss on his album cover! Heather: Ooo, you think you're so hip! Well PAUL never...appeared naked on HIS album cover with his ugly wife. Pattie: That was John, you ho! And *I* am George's wife. Heather: Duh, thats what I said! Pattie: At least my George gives me money without me begging or STEALING it from his wallet! <OoOoOOoOOOooOOoOoOOOooOOoO> Heather: You did NOT just go there! Pattie: I think I just did. Heather: Oh no you didn't! Pattie: Oh snap! Heather: Oh no you didn't! Pattie: Oh snap! Heather: Oh no you didn't! Pattie: Oh snap! Heather: Okay then, you wanna play HARD ball!? At least my Paul doesn't go wife-swapping on me behind my back! Pattie: <starts to cry> Heather: <satisfactory smile> He swaps when I'm going shopping. Tee hee! Pattie: My George LOVES me. He would never cheat on me. Heather: Whatever, I don't care...Oh, this one is SO easy. What is Picasso?! Alex Trebeck on TV: Thats correct! The Mona Lisa was painted by da Vinci. Heather: Yeah right! Picasso painted it. And that Mona whatever was one ugly broad if you ask me...
"VH1 welcomes you to join us in watching this lovable couple and their many adventures to come. This and more in...THE ODD COUPLE."
|